Many of us would have either read the story of sparrow “chako-chaki” or would have heard from our grandma. Few days back I happen to read a story on a blog wherein wife had shown her love and care for her husband. She had bought some cloth pieces for him and without informing him, she had smartly taken her to tailor. Story had no evidence of husband being telling her to do so. After reading that story, I was not able to stop my hands to type a question to the writer. That question told the story of a wife who silently performed various duties, just reading the mind of husband. But in return her trust was broken by him. She never seemed to be wife to him. A question then came to me, does marriage means shouldering responsibility on only one person’s shoulder?
The writer of that story in reply to my question told me another story. I was expecting some elderly like advice from writer but the first reaction was “divorce”.
All this made me remember that childhood story. Story of “chako-chaki”. The story is “there is a chako (male sparrow) and chaki (female sparrow) use to live on a tree. Chako prepared nest for Chaki to lay eggs. The nest was ready and they use to live together happily. Every day, both use to fly around in search for food. While searching Chako got rice grain, Chaki got dal, they brought that to nest and chaki cooked “khichadi” (details on this on another blog).” By the time she cook food, we would have gone to sleep, isn’t?
One thing I observed in this story is responsibilities are divided between both husband and wife. Male sparrow knows how to make nest and Female sparrow knows how to make that nest of grass a sweet home. Male sparrow while making the nest considers the comfort of his female part and her eggs. He knows very well that when those eggs will hatch, little ones will come out, they will feed them with all efforts and those little ones will one day fly away. But he will never make a nest which is week or poor. They why humans make poor house? I mean, why do we forget that our responsibility or “karma” is to do best of what we can do. Give our best to others without expecting anything from the other. Isn’t it the preaching of Gita?
But its general human tendency, that we start expecting from others when we give them something. But believe me, you can come out of this. If you try to judge yourself. Yes, we often judge others knowingly or unknowingly. We judge beauty, features, intelligence, income, house, wife, husband, life, kids and what not. But we dont judge ourselves. We dont comment on what we are. The day you start judging yourself you will never seat and comment on your neighbor, Television shows, etc. Because you will find yourself either not enough intelligent to comment or over intelligent.
In either case, commenting on others would not be wise. If you are not enough intelligent, there are chances of getting being defamed by other. And if you are over intelligent, then its your stupidity if you comment on other.
Here the discussion is about the duties a wife and husband should shoulder. So coming to the point. The next thing I observed is, husband brought some food grain, wife brought some food grain and then they cook the food. Responsibility to make house was being shared and now the responsibility to maintain the house is being shared.
In every walk of life, you have to do this. Some times, its husband who would be behaving in stupid manner and some times wife. Both should smartly handle each other at that moment. According to me a couple is who become complementary to each other. Together they are a strength. They should have an understanding of each other, what other likes and dislikes. Some times its necessary to speak and some times its necessary to remain silent. So both should try to understand each others words and silence.
I remember words of Osho about marriage. According to him, marriage should not be there. I request readers to listen his views on marriage. I am truly with his views. But at the same time, I would like to favor marriage, a marriage in which both husband and wife know their responsibility, they care for each other, be complementary and strength of each other, learn good things from each other, be pillar of each other’s life, instead of being enemies. Divorce is not the solution to any situation.