“Bhojeshu Mata, Karaneshu Mantri, Karyeshu Dasi, Shayaneshu Rambha, Kula Darma Patni,”
According to Purana, a Wife is the who cooks food like Mother, She is who gives advices like Minister, She is who is like a Slave in deeds, She is who is like Rambha on bed, She is who follows all this as her dharma is a Wife.
Before you jump into any conclusion, I would like to try to elaborate the meaning of above.
If you have thought that cooking like your hubby’s Mother, ie, adopting her style of cooking and way of cooking will make you wife. I believe you are wrong. The Nature of Mother is to take care of her child. When she is cooking, she will be very careful, she will buy fresh and good vegetables (if vegetarian) or fresh and good meat (if non vegetarian), she will clean them with water, cut them carefully (remove any part which contains worms or damages due to weather, etc), cook them carefully (make sure that the food doesn’t remain uncooked or gets burned). This is what most of the mothers around the world would do.
But a Smart Mother (not necessarily “Wheel Smart”) will use spices and other ingredients in such a way that it doesn’t spoil your health. So if you are following that normal process of cooking along with your smartness, I would say you are a wife.
Ofcourse, you are the Home Minister, you can command your family members and encourage them to work as per your wish. But this is not related to politics (household politics). If you are involved in this, according to me you are not a wife.
As a Minister, you should keep a watch on your husband’s activities, if he is going to take any wrong decision, which will harm him and family in whole, you should tactfully explain him pros and cons of his decision and help him take correct decision. It is not that always you are correct. So a healthy discussion will help you to know all the situations related to decision he is going to take.
This makes communication between couple very important. This communication should be transparent. Both should be transparent like crystal clear water. If any fact will be kept hidden it will lead into mishap. So wife should be aware of current affairs, she should be aware of any activities taking place around their family. So shall I say she should be like encyclopedia. I am not expecting too much here. But think carefully. If you are Minister, you should be one step ahead in knowledge of every thing (politics, house, current affairs, etc)
Now, if you work for him like slave you are wife. I am sure every woman reading this will kick me. But the term slave here means, not working with force, it here means working from heart, dedication. If you are cooking food for him for the sake of cooking or if its punishment for you to cook, clean floor, utensils, clothes, etc you are not wife. Think logically here, when you are cooking bread, you are required to kneed dough, in this if you feel your fingers get dirty or your nails loose beauty and expect your husband should do it or get some servant to do it. Then for what you are? While eating that bread your fingers or nails dont get damaged then why at the time of cooking? If you can bend down to sweep floor but want to sleep on clean floor, and expect your husband to either clean the floor or get servant, then for what you are? You should be responsible. You should know your duties. You should not run away telling that “I cant do, I have not done at my parent’s house or I dont like to do it or it spoils my beauty”.
Anyone who shows back to their duties and activities, they are not human being. I would here follow Gandhi and stand besides him, for he use to do all his work on his own instead of looking for help or showing back to work for himself.
Hope now the meaning of slave would be clear. Your heart should not tell you that you are slave but it should say its your work, its your duties and you are happy to perform any activity (legally acceptable or genuine activity) for the welfare of your hubby and house.
This last act which I believe most or many of women would be performing with happiness and heart. There would be few who would not like to perform this act or would not be happy. In purana Rambha was a beauty who use to please Gods. She was pictured very beautiful and knew every act to please Gods. If you are like her then you can be wife.
But I believe, a wife is one who reads mind, feelings of her husband and enlighten her mood. Make her mind ready to please him the way he wishes. Act as he wishes and try to give him maximum happiness. I believe physical beauty is not as important as metal beauty. No matter how much physically beautiful you are but if you avoid to listen to your partner’s feelings, you are not beautiful according to me. If you are not happy to please him or not pleased by him then you are not wife.
I believe I am not required to write more about this topic as I assume people reading this post would be more knowledgeable then me.
In conclusion, I would say, A Wife is one whose dharma (religion) is to take care hubby and house with utmost care, be a good guide and show the path of truth, be happy and ready to do any kind of work for the welfare of hubby and house and bring happiness by pleasing him in all the best possible manner.