An Unanswered Complain

I had been writing about Mother and Father in this blog since last few days. I believe this relationship is very precious in the is world. If you say, God creates us, then Mother and Father creates us, so I would say they are God. A Mother gives you all warmth and love in her womb, in her arms, she nourishes you and teaches you manners. She makes you human being. Father feeds you, gives you identity in society, gives you education and teaches you to be in respectable position in your life. Without them your life will be like a leaf which wonders here and there in wind.

This poem was taught us as prayer when we were in school. But after completing school we forgot all these and became busy in the race of earning money.

God have give us powers – to think and to speak. Our brain is developed then other species on earth. But some where we fail to prove that we are best creation of God. There are number of old-age homes and retirement homes increasing day-by-day in India. Since years we had families living in India. But since a decade old age homes have mushroomed.  Some families may not have Son to take care of them when they go old, so they think they go to such old age homes. But those who have son and family, why are they forced to go to old age homes?

The old issue of women, both women fight for their share in their home and then old people are left alone in home.  Adjustment is required from both the side.

Second issue is flying abroad. In the urge to earn money they leave parents back home alone. Yes, money is important to live life. But money is not life. Your parents would have done the same with you, they could have left you in orphanage and would have gone abroad to earn or would have chosen to enjoy their life. They spared their time to enjoy just to bring you up. They spared their parties just because you were studying and you they felt need to be with you. Due to promotion, your Mother and Dad would have decided to live apart from each other just because you were studying. You needed a base, you needed a steady education.

Third by choice, I don’t understand why parents chose to live alone or go to such homes when their kids say we will be with you. There is a fear that the new comer will not be able to do what they were expecting. Ofcourse, there is a difference between the culture of new comer and your house. But it is not that big which couldn’t be over come. When people use to live in joint families they would have been compromising and co-operating with each other to be under one roof. Why can’t we do this today? Why we say, it is the duty of new comer to do this and that? or I can’t do this, this is beyond my limits? Limits are set by an individual himself/herself. Limits are boundaries of thinking, co-operation, willingness to change. No one is perfect, everyone needs some changes. With little co-operation and patience you can change other or you can get desired out put.

It is the responsibility to youngsters to compromise with their enjoyment and be with their elders to spend time with them. Many people say to me you don’t go out and enjoy your life. You don’t know how to enjoy life. I don’t answer them back. Yes, I don’t go out for so called enjoyment, I stay back with my parents. As during week days I spend time working whole day and evening doing some or the other work. But at weekend I stay with them, to help mother keep house clean, to seat with them, though no word being uttered between us, I can feel that they think they have someone around them to be with them. Isn’t it better than jumping in bar/pub or watching movie? I know they expect me to with them at lunch and dinner on weekends and so I avoid eating out with friends. I can see just eating with them, I would have made 10 gm of blood but they would have made 100 gm of blood. It will not be too much if I say that just one weekend would have added 7 more days in their life.

Spending a smallest moment with them, cheering with them, talking with them gives them energy. Make them feel like alive. Can’t we do this small thing for them after all they have given us life and reason to live? Aren’t they important then friends, movies, bars/pubs, date and all such things?

A letter to Dad

My Dear Daddy,

um…. what do i call you? Dad/Daddy/Papa/Dadu/Pappu, oh!!! I am confused, how do I address you. I feel poor who don’t have enough words in dictionary to address you. 😦

Hey, Dad, my sweet Dad you know everything. You know you are best Dad in the world. You know I want to be like you. You know I love wearing your shoes and office wear. You know I love to dig my brain your thick files. You know I love when you carry me in your arms. You know I love when you make me seat on your shoulders in zoo. You know I love to mimic your style. You know I love to seat on your bike and enjoy the ride. You know I love to tease you when you shave. You know I wait for you to return home in the evening and play games. You know I wait for you to bring chocolates from me. And I love to hide cookies from Mom for you. You know I love to make plans with you to tease Mom and run away with you after breaking window glasses. You know how much I wait for the vacation where we all enjoy whole day.

Hey! Dadu, didn’t I tell you, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY ONE IN THE WORLD. …. ooops…. I MEAN YOU ARE MY WHOLE WORLD.

A Dad is very important in a girl’s life. Father always protect his daughter. If mother would be scolding daughter he would come on daughter side and pamper her. Dad and Daughter relationship are different. Daughter always thinks about her father like mother, would like to cook new dishes for him, will keep his clothes and desk clean. Will wait for him for dinner till he return home. Will scold father like his mother if he forget to eat, take medicine or glasses. She will hide things from her mother if she is restricting her father. From morning till night she will take care of her father like a mother.

But after marriage, when she is at her home, her heart will ask her to go and check whether he has taken medicine, he eats food properly, his wardrobe is proper. She would be worried if Mom and Dad debate on any issue who will take side of Dad or who will help put that debate on end.

Her heart would ask a question, Dad, you never let me alone for a day, you were worried when i get late to home and kept yourself awake till i reach home. Today why you don’t keep yourself awake to see me? Today why don’t you call me often to check whether I had my food, whether I am fine? In these many years you were the first to wish me on my B’day when I get up from bed. Why can’t we keep that tradition going? In these many years you wished me 100 times on by B’day, why can’t we keep that tradition going? We use to go out in each fair and even for dinner in restaurant, just we both, why can’t we go now? Why can’t we have tea together on Sunday evening? How can this ritual around fire break our flesh and blood relationship?

DID I EVER TELL YOU DAD THAT I WANT YOU TO BE MY DAD WHENEVER I TAKE BIRTH?

Dad

Papa/ Daddy/Pa…. a small word for one who protects you and nourish your life. A small word for a man like coconut.

Some days back a friend of mine told, “baap e baap , bija badha jungle na saap!“, meaning “father is father, all others are snakes of jungle (they cant be found easily)” or shall I say,  a father is a father on one can be compared with him, no one can take place of his.

Today I was sitting idle watching a nest. Mother had lay there eggs. Both male bird and female bird watching nest and eggs in it. Suddenly there came another bird and male bird started fighting with that newly arrived. Female bird shouting to call other for help and protecting eggs. I saw male bird was alone may be he had fear of death but still he was fighting to protect his family. I help him by showing my presence to that new arrived. That newly arrived went far away and again that couple was sitting watching nest and eggs.

With this a thought came to my mind. Isn’t our Dad do the same? They work hard in their job to meet our demands, to bring food for us, to give us good education and good life. They burn their blood out in their job or business for family and kids. And if on someone will come scolding us he will stand besides us to fight with them, though he know, we are at fault but he will protect us. If we can’t tell something to our Mother we can for sure go and tell that to out Dad.

I try to imagine the face of a new father. A boy till some time back would be enjoying night outs with friends in movies, bar/disco, snacks at road side stalls and watching the girls passing though the lane near “Pan House”, becomes mature when married. He thinks it is his responsibility to keep his wife happy, safe and will always be ready to protect her. And when such person becomes Dad, he might be into a different world. The feeling of joy and responsibility would stroll over him. I believe like woman, he would be feeling that he has become man now.

When for the first time he would take his child in his arms, I am sure he would feel proud to be complete man. Men don’t express themselves much. But I am sure when they would be watching their child grow, they would be dreaming their child to become famous like them or will dream of the day when they will step-into their shoes.

He will play cricket with you, carry you on his shoulder to park, bring chocolates for you and play games with you. He may not be feeling you growing inside his body but he would be feeling you growing in his mind. His mind would calculate all what you will need in future and present along with ways to fulfill your demands/wish/dream.

Mother would be worried if you don’t eat properly, father too would be worried but he would also be worried if you don’t do good in exams. It is not that mother will not be worried but there are certain feminine feeling and masculine feeling which will always be found in parents in various ratios. Generally we say, daughter love their father and son love their mother but i believe child’s childhood and life is incomplete without parents.

Dad will teach you technical know-hows of the world, if you will ask him question about cricket, car, politics, economics, he will explain you in all details, but if you ask him about kitchen, he would say, “go and ask your Mom”. Mothers would tell you about religion, philosophy of life, keep room clean and teach you manners. Dad will teach you how to be strong.

There is no words to express Dad. After all what I wrote, I feel still I don’t have proper words to express Dad, position of Dad in life. I feel all what he spent on my degrees and education is waste, which have not taught me words to express Dad, write about his position. It is Dad who had always shadowed us, protected against evils of society. A proud Dad can show how he was standing as pillar behind his daughter, Sunitha Williams, Kalpna Chawla.

पा तुझे सलाम!

Thousands of Salute to Pa!

 

A letter to Mother

My Dear Mummy,

:O I was thinking a lot but was not able to find a word to address mother in my small dictionary. Every word sound formal and I know you are special but i am unable to get special word. Ah!!! 😦 all my studies is waste, which never taught me to address mother with affection.

But mom, dear mum you know everything. You know my feelings for you, you know how much i love you, how much i admire you and how much i care for you. You know how much warm i feel in your arms and how much comfortable i feel in your lap when you nurse my wounds. You know how sound i sleep when you pat me and how eager i am to eat dishes cooked by you. You know how safe i feel besides you, you know how fear feels fear of me when i hug you tightly if fear comes near me. You know when you scold me for my misbehavior how much i loved to tease you, how much i enjoyed to wear your footwear, sari and bow. You know how much i enjoyed mimicking you, how much i enjoyed roaming behind you holding pallu of your sari. You know how much i enjoyed studying with you and demanding favorite toys, cloths, money for movie or party. You know how much comfortable sharing secrets.

But Mom didn’t I tell you I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE IN THIS WORLD. oopsss…. 🙂 you know what I mean. YOU ARE MY WORLD.

After marriage when girl leaves house of parents she realizes importance of Mother in her life. Mom always pampers her, cooks food for her, shares secret, health issues, issues with friends, studies and lots of things. Which she will no more be able to share. She will no more be able to enjoy sleep when sick or favorite movie at the time of cooking.

When such girl lives away from mom for few days, her heart will ask, why don’t you call me? why don’t you fight with Dad to bring me back home? why don’t you check me, whether I have ate food, whether I have slept well? This whole new house, new culture scares me, I am all alone here. I need you to listen me, talk to me. I want your lap to rest, when i have headache.

And did I tell you I cooked new sweet dish and want you to taste it. Did I tell you I wear new dress which we had bought before wedding and I want you to see how that dress looks on me.

Her heart would be worried when she will find her mom is sick. And her heart would say, call me to serve you, I want to care of you. How will you get off the bed? I will bring food for you in bed and make you feel comfortable. Why don’t you call me? Don’t you need me now? Can this relationship break with that small ritual around fire?

DID I EVER TELL YOU MOM, I CAN MAKE SHOES OF MY SKIN FOR YOUR FOOT?

Dear dont speak lie

Today I remembered of this song,  “Sajan Re Jhooth Mat Bolo….”, nicely written.

It is very truly written that, One day you have to meet his all mighty, you will not be accompanied by horse or elephant, you have to go there on your feet.  All your property and house will remain here only, so why are you proud of it, you will have to bow your head. If you do good you will be reap goodness, if you do bad you will reap badness. What is the use of writing accounts, you will have to pay everything here in this world. You spent your childhood in playing games, spent sleeping during young age and cried looking at your old age, the story is same with all.

Isn’t it true that you come with empty hands and leave with empty hands. I remember the story of Shikandar told by my boss, he had instructed his servants to keep his hand open and all his treasure near him when he die. You can’t take anything with you, you have to leave it here in this world.

This world is full of materialistic pleasures, when you come in this world you are not touched with it, but when you start living in this world you some how forget to remain untouched with these pleasures and develop a bond with them. Being in this bond you do many things which should not be done, 🙂 the first thing you did was not to create bond.

We keep account of money we have lend to people and never forget to take them back, and if that person does delay in returning money, lender will start fighting. Which he will never take with him.

There are people who collect wires and other unused things to sell them and get money but they show off as if they are millionaire.

What these rich people do with their money? They live lavish life, they wear costly clothes, move in costly vehicles and live in cozy house. But how many know how to spend that money on needy people? If one such rich person decides to live in a house which common or average men lives and adopt needy people to divide his wealth in them then cant we see social equality? Rich are getting more rich and poor are getting more poor.

There are people who spent money in building hospitals, temples or mosques after they die. But when they are alive they hardly think of those poor suffering without treatment, food and struggling to get a single penny.

Boss who have money creates company and give job to people who dont have much money, thinks to get maximum out of his employee. Women employee servants to do house coarse and think that they are their slaves. All such think they have money in hand and they can win the world or rule on others but when on death bed they all are same, either they are burnt or buried. For few days people will talk about them and then every year their near ones will remember them.

Only those are remembered forever whose deeds are Great, who have touched lives of people, who have made people happy.

Why don’t we put efforts on earning good deeds instead of wealth and money.

Mom

Maa/Mummy/Mom/Mother….. a small word to describe the ocean of love and care.

In my mother tong Gujarati it is said, “મા તે મા ને બીજાં વગડાના વા” meaning, “Mother is Mother others are like air or wind blowing in jungle” or Mother is Mother no nothing could be compared with her.

Today I happen to go out to buy fruits when i saw a person hitting cow in an effort to separate cow from her calf. I felt like going there and asking him to stop or else i will go to file complain against him. But my Dad told if he will not separate them calf will drink all the milk. That surprised me. How can a little cute creature drink 4-5 liters of milk. Dad asked me to get clarification from Mom.

At home I told Mom what I saw and she told he wont be hitting her hard and if he wont remove calf, all milk would be drank and it may cause calf’s death. Surprising it was that a little cute creature can drink 4-5 liters of milk in one stretch. Mom had few cows and other milk giving animals at her Dad’s home and she know all about how to take care of them.  Taking base of her experience she told, at night cow and calf will be tied at different place but cow would always try to get away from rope and get near calf to feed calf. If not take care of in night she would feed calf with milk and in the morning workers at her home would have to return with empty vessels. It is normal, cow would slowly slip towards her calf to feed, thinking calf would be hungry, thinking calf don’t sleep empty stomach.

These animals who can’t speak and express their feeling know how to take care of their kids. Mom told, be it cow, buffalow, donkey, dog, cat, camel, goat, horse or human being, mother in all knows one thing, ie, to love her child, take care of her child, protect in any situation and give her child best. Isn’t it true. A woman not being mom would love cakes, but when she is mom and her kid would demand for her favorite piece of cake, she will not wait to think but give that piece and become happy with the happiness on child’s face. She would sleep in wet bed to give her child peaceful sleep. She would keep her self awake till you go to sleep. If you are sick, she would become nurse and try to give you best of her knowledge. You can forget to take medicine, she can forget her medicine but she will not forget your medicine. She may forget to buy clothes for her but she will buy clothes for you.

Few days back a cat had some kittens, some how she lost one kitten, and whole day, night she kept calling that kitten and moaning there where she had left that kitten. I heard her moaning till late night.

There is no feeling other than motherhood. Since the day she get child in her womb her senses know about her child, as the child develop in her womb, she develops communication with child. A feeling to feel the baby develop in womb and move is marvelous. And child finds mother with her warm touch. As the first lesson which child learns is touch. Yes, mother is the best teacher in the world and the first teacher in the world. If you say God creates you then, shouldn’t it harm to say that your mother is God who created you. A brave mother can only create Shivaji and Rani of Jhansi.

माँ तुझे सलाम!

Thousand of Salutes to Mother!

Lesson to remember

1 — Learn When to Speak, Where to Speak, What to Speak and How to Speak

2 — “The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.”

3 — “Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.”

4 — “Fear is not good for Success.”

5 — “As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.”

6 — Like you filter your water filter your words.

7 — “A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.”

8 — “Once you start a working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.”

9 — “The goal of mankind is knowledge … Now this knowledge is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside: it is all inside. What we say a man ‘knows’, should, in strict psychological language, be what he ‘discovers’ or ‘unveils’; what man ‘learns’ is really what he discovers by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge.”

10 — “You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”

11 — “Negative thoughts are like error messages; they can show you unconscious ‘programming’ in your mind that stands as a barrier between you and your desires. You can use these error messages as signposts to your success.”

12 — “change your view towards situation and you can find changes in life.”

13 — Always use paper while you are thinking.
Check your words when you speak.

14 — You view situations, events, life and others gauged with your perception, limitations of your knowledge and your feelings towards them.

15 — The biggest and most powerful enemy of anyone is his thoughts.

16 — Don’t let others challenge you, challenge yourself, because you yourself can be the best person to compete with yourself.

17 — Human brain is an excellent warehouse of knowledge.

18 — Every one on the earth have unique power which no other can mimic.

19 — Lesson from Rain: Keep your heart clean like your body.

20 — Lesson from Water: Change yourself according to situation but maintain unique way of flow.

21 — When you feel it is hard to survive, think about a moment of life, visualize a ray of light and the feeling to fight and live will become strong.

22 — A wall if seen from outside the house can be a structure of bricks, cement and sand. It can be seen as boundary of a residence but without wall a structure cannot be termed as house.

23 — Irrespective of the old scripts and literature, we believe, there is no life after this life, but when it comes to performing tasks, people always say, we will do it later, it happen gradually, will do it…..
as if they have confidence that they have enough time and if in case there would be shortage of time, they will do pending tasks next time (later).

24 — Water is one of the factor which can help us keep away from certain diseases. So drink warm water whenever you drink water.

25 — If we fly like kite, it is obvious we will lose sky and destination as our control will be in others’ hands.

26 — A pretendar cannot be a performer.

27 — Mental sickness comes out in the form of poor/ vulgar / sick thoughts.

28 — Always stay away from the people who say “I am best” as they will pass ego and wrong words.

29 — Anything and Everything in limits is good.

30 — There is end of the regime of Ram and there is end of the regime of Ravana.

31 — Never think you are best, you know everything, as the best is Supreme Being who knows everything.

32 — The surface of sea/ ocean always looks cool and calm, while below the surface it is unquiet.

33 — Let me live in the single moment of happiness, it is worth of living in this moment than living for months. Let me live in the single moment of satisfaction, it is worth of living in this moment than living for years.

34 — when I walk in darkness… the element ‘darkness’ faces light of my confidence (light of soul) in my eyes and thus this element gets alert, as with my each step in darkness follows light

35 — Never run away from fear… as the more you will run away from fear it will encroach you with more power and force… so face it… it is just a feeble feeling

36 — Don’t try to escape from people who try to cheat you…if you face them either they will depart or they will leave their intension to be with you… cheaters are more afraid then you…

37 — You are the best judge of yourself. Listen to all but use your knowledge to filter the best for you.

38 — You don’t live life for others. You live for yourself. Don’t spend time in pleasing them, instead spend time in knowing yourself and growth of yourself.

39 — Don’t compete with others. Compete with yourself. Everyday you change and grow.

40 — Spend atleast 1 minute a day or 1 day a week to make a note of what you have achieved in your life and most important make a list of moments you were really happy and satisfied.

 

Beaware of Lust Infatuation and Wrath

There is no disease (so destructive) as lust; no enemy like infatuation; no fire like wrath; and no happiness like spiritual knowledge

I was reading a script and came across the above stated quote. All most every one knows about this but still many of us are slaves of these three things.

It is truly said that Lust is a disease. Disease of mind which kills soul and happiness. While creating life God had placed a system in every life to reproduce life. And to generate interest in reproduction or encourage life for reproduction  God have kept an attraction between lives. This attraction gives birth to desire and with the good efforts of good thoughts life gets regenerated. But if one forgets to control the horse of desire and attraction, he finds himself lost in the desert of Lust. There is an industry which is like desert where people come in search of happiness and or love but get lost in the winds of desert. 100 bottles of liquor may not damage you much but Lust will damage your thought and soul within a very short time period. It is like a paralysis of thought.

Another thing that harms your good thinking and stops your mind from thinking big is Infatuation. Infatuation is a feeling. Many have told me that they are in love but when i ask them the reason or check their commitment then i see that they are infatuated and not in real love. Real love is commitment. It is divine and brings two soul together not only the two bodies together. Infatuation becomes your enemy when you get totally absorbed with the thought and get attracted to someone or something. You loose the sense of what is true and false and try to please the other in the best possible manner. In this you create a lot of enemies. An infatuated person loses himself. And when you are not in you, you are like a dead body. You loose sense of what is good and what is bad.

Anger or Wrath is worst, yes, it burns not only your soul but others mood and happiness. A spark of anger is enough to burn you in full and others. Anger is chronic in itself. It starts with a small spark and encourages itself to grow. It then burns your energy and happiness within you. This fire cant be seen with eyes but could be felt. This fire is like a fire in forest, it catches others soon and the more it catch holds of others it becomes furious.

The only thing that can help one go stay away from all these things is Spiritual Knowledge and Wisdom. Making a habit to read at-least one word of such scripts can help you cultivate your mind and thoughts. With such mind you will be able to keep away from such evils.