To Forgive

We often advice people to forgive others. We knowingly or unknowingly hurt others by our words, act and attitude.

Casually we say “sorry”, “pardon me” and at times of festival we meet every friend and relative with a request to forgive us for knowingly or unknowingly being hurt. IS IT ENOUGH!!!!!

Can “Sorry” be enough? Does “Sorry” give us the license to do another mistake?

Or “sorry” teach us something….

It is not easy to forgive someone. If you have never given forgiveness, it would be difficult for you to forgive. Forgiving someone is not easy.

At first you will have to realize that you are equally responsible for the mistake though not in all cases but in few cases both are equally responsible.  How you could be responsible? You react with anger when someone hurt you and thus you become responsible of hurting the other. You reflect the act done by others to you and share the responsibility.

When you decide to forgive, you will first of all have to stop reacting. When you stop reacting over others actions, you will start remembering their wrong deeds. I would say, you will start revisiting those deeds again and again. In this act of revisiting you will again be trapped in anger and would like to react, would not like to forgive others. But be firm on the decision to forgive. You will keep on revisiting wrong deeds of others for some time, but every time you revisit those deeds, you would realize that those who did wrong to you were ignorant of what they are doing, you will find their behavior childish and your heat will be filled with pity on them. If not with pity you would realize that you can forgive them.

Slowly when you realize that you can forgive them you may even feel like you are good or better than them… a form of ego…

But while putting efforts in forgiving you will soon realize you are not better… neither you are best nor they… neither you are doing good to yourself or to them… you are working to free yourself from the fire of anger and the feeling to punish them.

Yes, when someone does something wrong to you, you will be filled with anger and you would find all the possible way to punish them. Unknowingly you keep on burning yourself in anger and the desire to punish.

We can say, to forgive someone is the best punishment.

I would say, when you forgive someone from heart, you will be in a state where the wrong deeds done by others will no more be painful to you, those deeds would not be important to you and later you would feel you find those people as creation of god, a creation like you, and would pray for their well-being and goodness.

I could say all this as I have reached to the state of forgiveness where I am able to pray for well-being and goodness of those who did wrong to me, who do wrong to me.