An Unanswered Complain

I had been writing about Mother and Father in this blog since last few days. I believe this relationship is very precious in the is world. If you say, God creates us, then Mother and Father creates us, so I would say they are God. A Mother gives you all warmth and love in her womb, in her arms, she nourishes you and teaches you manners. She makes you human being. Father feeds you, gives you identity in society, gives you education and teaches you to be in respectable position in your life. Without them your life will be like a leaf which wonders here and there in wind.

This poem was taught us as prayer when we were in school. But after completing school we forgot all these and became busy in the race of earning money.

God have give us powers – to think and to speak. Our brain is developed then other species on earth. But some where we fail to prove that we are best creation of God. There are number of old-age homes and retirement homes increasing day-by-day in India. Since years we had families living in India. But since a decade old age homes have mushroomed.  Some families may not have Son to take care of them when they go old, so they think they go to such old age homes. But those who have son and family, why are they forced to go to old age homes?

The old issue of women, both women fight for their share in their home and then old people are left alone in home.  Adjustment is required from both the side.

Second issue is flying abroad. In the urge to earn money they leave parents back home alone. Yes, money is important to live life. But money is not life. Your parents would have done the same with you, they could have left you in orphanage and would have gone abroad to earn or would have chosen to enjoy their life. They spared their time to enjoy just to bring you up. They spared their parties just because you were studying and you they felt need to be with you. Due to promotion, your Mother and Dad would have decided to live apart from each other just because you were studying. You needed a base, you needed a steady education.

Third by choice, I don’t understand why parents chose to live alone or go to such homes when their kids say we will be with you. There is a fear that the new comer will not be able to do what they were expecting. Ofcourse, there is a difference between the culture of new comer and your house. But it is not that big which couldn’t be over come. When people use to live in joint families they would have been compromising and co-operating with each other to be under one roof. Why can’t we do this today? Why we say, it is the duty of new comer to do this and that? or I can’t do this, this is beyond my limits? Limits are set by an individual himself/herself. Limits are boundaries of thinking, co-operation, willingness to change. No one is perfect, everyone needs some changes. With little co-operation and patience you can change other or you can get desired out put.

It is the responsibility to youngsters to compromise with their enjoyment and be with their elders to spend time with them. Many people say to me you don’t go out and enjoy your life. You don’t know how to enjoy life. I don’t answer them back. Yes, I don’t go out for so called enjoyment, I stay back with my parents. As during week days I spend time working whole day and evening doing some or the other work. But at weekend I stay with them, to help mother keep house clean, to seat with them, though no word being uttered between us, I can feel that they think they have someone around them to be with them. Isn’t it better than jumping in bar/pub or watching movie? I know they expect me to with them at lunch and dinner on weekends and so I avoid eating out with friends. I can see just eating with them, I would have made 10 gm of blood but they would have made 100 gm of blood. It will not be too much if I say that just one weekend would have added 7 more days in their life.

Spending a smallest moment with them, cheering with them, talking with them gives them energy. Make them feel like alive. Can’t we do this small thing for them after all they have given us life and reason to live? Aren’t they important then friends, movies, bars/pubs, date and all such things?

A letter to Dad

My Dear Daddy,

um…. what do i call you? Dad/Daddy/Papa/Dadu/Pappu, oh!!! I am confused, how do I address you. I feel poor who don’t have enough words in dictionary to address you. 😦

Hey, Dad, my sweet Dad you know everything. You know you are best Dad in the world. You know I want to be like you. You know I love wearing your shoes and office wear. You know I love to dig my brain your thick files. You know I love when you carry me in your arms. You know I love when you make me seat on your shoulders in zoo. You know I love to mimic your style. You know I love to seat on your bike and enjoy the ride. You know I love to tease you when you shave. You know I wait for you to return home in the evening and play games. You know I wait for you to bring chocolates from me. And I love to hide cookies from Mom for you. You know I love to make plans with you to tease Mom and run away with you after breaking window glasses. You know how much I wait for the vacation where we all enjoy whole day.

Hey! Dadu, didn’t I tell you, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY ONE IN THE WORLD. …. ooops…. I MEAN YOU ARE MY WHOLE WORLD.

A Dad is very important in a girl’s life. Father always protect his daughter. If mother would be scolding daughter he would come on daughter side and pamper her. Dad and Daughter relationship are different. Daughter always thinks about her father like mother, would like to cook new dishes for him, will keep his clothes and desk clean. Will wait for him for dinner till he return home. Will scold father like his mother if he forget to eat, take medicine or glasses. She will hide things from her mother if she is restricting her father. From morning till night she will take care of her father like a mother.

But after marriage, when she is at her home, her heart will ask her to go and check whether he has taken medicine, he eats food properly, his wardrobe is proper. She would be worried if Mom and Dad debate on any issue who will take side of Dad or who will help put that debate on end.

Her heart would ask a question, Dad, you never let me alone for a day, you were worried when i get late to home and kept yourself awake till i reach home. Today why you don’t keep yourself awake to see me? Today why don’t you call me often to check whether I had my food, whether I am fine? In these many years you were the first to wish me on my B’day when I get up from bed. Why can’t we keep that tradition going? In these many years you wished me 100 times on by B’day, why can’t we keep that tradition going? We use to go out in each fair and even for dinner in restaurant, just we both, why can’t we go now? Why can’t we have tea together on Sunday evening? How can this ritual around fire break our flesh and blood relationship?

DID I EVER TELL YOU DAD THAT I WANT YOU TO BE MY DAD WHENEVER I TAKE BIRTH?

Dad

Papa/ Daddy/Pa…. a small word for one who protects you and nourish your life. A small word for a man like coconut.

Some days back a friend of mine told, “baap e baap , bija badha jungle na saap!“, meaning “father is father, all others are snakes of jungle (they cant be found easily)” or shall I say,  a father is a father on one can be compared with him, no one can take place of his.

Today I was sitting idle watching a nest. Mother had lay there eggs. Both male bird and female bird watching nest and eggs in it. Suddenly there came another bird and male bird started fighting with that newly arrived. Female bird shouting to call other for help and protecting eggs. I saw male bird was alone may be he had fear of death but still he was fighting to protect his family. I help him by showing my presence to that new arrived. That newly arrived went far away and again that couple was sitting watching nest and eggs.

With this a thought came to my mind. Isn’t our Dad do the same? They work hard in their job to meet our demands, to bring food for us, to give us good education and good life. They burn their blood out in their job or business for family and kids. And if on someone will come scolding us he will stand besides us to fight with them, though he know, we are at fault but he will protect us. If we can’t tell something to our Mother we can for sure go and tell that to out Dad.

I try to imagine the face of a new father. A boy till some time back would be enjoying night outs with friends in movies, bar/disco, snacks at road side stalls and watching the girls passing though the lane near “Pan House”, becomes mature when married. He thinks it is his responsibility to keep his wife happy, safe and will always be ready to protect her. And when such person becomes Dad, he might be into a different world. The feeling of joy and responsibility would stroll over him. I believe like woman, he would be feeling that he has become man now.

When for the first time he would take his child in his arms, I am sure he would feel proud to be complete man. Men don’t express themselves much. But I am sure when they would be watching their child grow, they would be dreaming their child to become famous like them or will dream of the day when they will step-into their shoes.

He will play cricket with you, carry you on his shoulder to park, bring chocolates for you and play games with you. He may not be feeling you growing inside his body but he would be feeling you growing in his mind. His mind would calculate all what you will need in future and present along with ways to fulfill your demands/wish/dream.

Mother would be worried if you don’t eat properly, father too would be worried but he would also be worried if you don’t do good in exams. It is not that mother will not be worried but there are certain feminine feeling and masculine feeling which will always be found in parents in various ratios. Generally we say, daughter love their father and son love their mother but i believe child’s childhood and life is incomplete without parents.

Dad will teach you technical know-hows of the world, if you will ask him question about cricket, car, politics, economics, he will explain you in all details, but if you ask him about kitchen, he would say, “go and ask your Mom”. Mothers would tell you about religion, philosophy of life, keep room clean and teach you manners. Dad will teach you how to be strong.

There is no words to express Dad. After all what I wrote, I feel still I don’t have proper words to express Dad, position of Dad in life. I feel all what he spent on my degrees and education is waste, which have not taught me words to express Dad, write about his position. It is Dad who had always shadowed us, protected against evils of society. A proud Dad can show how he was standing as pillar behind his daughter, Sunitha Williams, Kalpna Chawla.

पा तुझे सलाम!

Thousands of Salute to Pa!