Define Happiness








I have written earlier a post on Happiness, this post is in continuation with the previous post.

During whole day we come across many people, with some of them we have relationship to talk and share our thoughts while with some of them we hardly talk but listen or watch their behavior. If we watch all of them closely we will see they are looking for Happiness. So what is the definition of Happiness for each of them?

Let me put their definition of Happiness here….

1. Mr. A, I will be happy/ delighted if I will get a Government contract worth NNN lacs

2. Miss B, I will be happy if he propose me

3. Miss C, I will be happy if he marry me

4. Mrs D, I will be happy if my husband buy me a diamond necklace worth NNN

5. Mrs E, I will be happy if my daughter-in-law obey me

6. Mrs. F, I will be happy if my husband earns NNN lacs per month

7. Mr. G, I will be happy if I get N% in exam

…………. This list is endless, where Happiness is starts with If and Else condition

Seems Happiness is a chocolate wrapped in IF and ELSE wrapper. So are they Happy after this so-called wrapper opened?

1. Mr. A, after a month bags the Government contract worth NNN lacs.

He should be happy now. But when asked why your face is not glowing with happiness? he said, I am happy but I will be happy when I will earn that NNN lacs from contract.

2. Miss B is proposed but her face is not glowing with happiness as it should be. When asked she said… “Yes, he proposed me but I will be happy only if he marry me”

…… all of the above when opened a layer of their IF and ELSE wrapper around Happiness were not Happy as they found one more layer of IF and ELSE wrapper around Happiness. This situation is endless. A new wrapper is found when one wrapper of IF and ELSE is removed.

Years after years pass opening these layers of IF and ELSE wrapper but yet Happiness is not unlocked. So a question comes was the definition of Happiness correct? If not then what is the definition of Happiness.

Happiness is in …..

1. knowing oneself (Aatma – inner soul)

2. satisfaction

3. gratitude

4. love

5. giving to other (don’t think you donated some money or food and you will get happiness)

Happiness cannot be wrapped between IF and ELSE

Happiness cannot be measured by different criteria.

Happiness is soul’s identity. It can be obtained when it is free from all conditions.

Fountain of Happiness

Last night I happen to attend the lecture at BAPS. It was on the anatomy of happiness. After listening to that lecture I asked myself, dear what you learned new from this lecture? It was something which I had already learnt in 2007 and what all saint had told in lecture I am following that since long.
After that lecture there were 3 questions being asked to saint. I was surprised that those who were seating there in the hall were all aged above 30 or 35 but through their questions they seemed like they were listening that for the first time. One of them told me after lecture,”isn’t it a great and amazing thing, a true path. which everyone should follow.” I had nothing to tell that person. But was amazed that it was a simple thing which you would have learned over the period of time in your life. I simply agreed to him and prayed for him.

But here I want to share what I had learned way back about happiness.
We all are logging for happiness every day through out our life. We all roam behind various issues, things or objects in this world to get happiness. But hardly we are happy or get happiness. Hardly we can find people who are jolly in nature.
I would like to put here case studies or my observations here-under.

1) My first observation is regarding money. I use to observe since teenager that people use to calculate everything in terms of money. I don’t know whether they calculated feelings in terms of money or not. But yes, at a time I have observed that there are people who value feelings in monetary terms. If they get benefits from someone they are happy with that person and they praise that person.

Around me I had friends who were elder than me. So when I was studying they were ready to find job. One day one of my friend got job and she came to inform everyone that what is her salary is what kind of perks he will get and lots more. I was listening them. Then some one started comparing and then tried to analyze that whatever she got was enough or not. At the end of the day, I could see that the girl who got job was jumping with happiness was not sad. That time I felt sorry for her and wished to help her console her. But today I simple smile remembering her expressions. What is the use to compare yourself with others? You are a unique creation of God and you get whatever you deserve. Then why to be sad. But hardly we understand this. In our ignorance we start comparing ourselves with others and then suffer with pain.

2) Next observation is about cheating and lying. I have seen many people wearing different faces on their face. It becomes so difficult to then find out their original face. 🙂 I think when they would be facing God, he might also be confused in recognizing their face.

I have observed it very closely that after telling lie your inner conscious bits you a lot. I have seen people suffering from this a lot. They don’t sleep at night properly and then due to restlessness they don’t behave with others properly. This all happens because you are not happy, you have told lie and you want to rectify your mistake.

There is no court of God if you think there is a court of your inner self which hold you in responsible for what you do. What costs to speak a little truth? A price or a relationship or any thing which you wished to have?

Believe me with hiding little truth you are loosing a lot, your mental peace, your happiness and to a good extent your are losing yourself.

3) Third thing is, Lack of smile. Yes, lack of smile on your face keeps you away from happiness and keeps others away from you. Many people look like rock, their face have no expression. If you meet them you will not find welcome smile or if you crack a joke you will not find smile on them. Some would be such hard that if you ask a simple question, you would get some really odd answer.

I have seen if you send a smile in your parking to the gate keeper or vegetable vendor or conductor in buss or any one with whom you get eyes contact, you send a signal of warmth to that person. That person will next time look for you and try to do whatever you say.

A smile can calm the volcano of anger and bring peace around you. At the end of the day when you are up to wind up for the day, you will be happy as you would have spread happiness with your simile and others would have done the same with you. Even if there would be some small incident of drift with any one that would not be in your mindset.

the happiness

4) Fourth observation is regarding being Intelligent or have good IQ:: I have heard that intelligent breads or genes are hot shots.  Every one wants to be with them, roam behind them and love their company. But I have observed them very closely, you will not find smile on their face. They look like prisoners who are made to follow the rules of Hitler. They spend hours in books and can crack any problems you give them but when you ask them to be social they will run away. If you ask them to help needy people they will either reply you arrogantly or make some silly excuses.  I have not found smile on their face and feel like they are also suffering from the same pain which other (average students or dull students face).

5) Running behind materialistic pleasure:: We see people running behind money, working for hours to get car, house, luxury and lavish life but are they really happy. Whenever I pass by any big bungalow I wish to remove the roofs of that bungalow and become a cloud to see how their life is. What do they do and How do they live. One of my cousin is a builder. He have money to buy everything but his sons are not such literate, he have many things in his life which have reason to give him pain. So a question comes, can money buy happiness? or having a bungalow, car and lavish life bring happiness? The answer was NO

6) Being Married or in Love bring happiness:: People say that if you marry your life will change and will be filled with happiness. If you fall in love your world will become beautiful. Marriage is a mystery, at times you feel you have best with you and at times you feel you are in hell. Being in love is surely a good thing. You are sharing your emotions and love with someone and even you are loved by someone ofcourse other than those who share DNA. But love and marriage is pleasurable till there is some physical bonding between two people. It becomes painful as soon as either of the couple or both of the couple start expecting and clutching each other in relationship. Then all of a sudden the person hit the ground and say it was the biggest mistake of the life.


Related posts

Define Happiness

I am lost

Yes, I am lost. Sounds funny!! but its a fact, not only me all of are lost, lost in the race of fame, name, money. Hardly we know ourselves or we understand ourselves or love ourselves. We all are beggars, we don’t love ourselves and in search of love run behind others to give us love, we don’t value our money and run behind money comparing our pockets with others’ pockets.

When I seat and look back I see myself the most happiest person in the world. How happy I was collecting tadpoles, butterflies, flowers and make paper boats in rain, how happy I was racing with passing by scooter, on my little bicycle. How happy I was eating chocolates, swinging and playing in mud. How happy I was running behind rabbits and puppies. How happy I was climbing mango trees, collecting raw mangoes and eating them. How happy I was breaking rules and going far from home alone on bicycle. I was enjoying life at fullest. I had no worries, no tensions, I use to sing merrily and dance freely.

But those eyes which were not happy to see this happiness told that I grew up. I need to behave maturely. There were lots of restrictions and orders which I was made to follow. I was given targets and goals, which I had to achieve at any cost. And then life took an unexpected twist, I was asked to marry. I was asked to focus on one person, listen to one person, centralize on one person and devote my life to that person.  In all this I lost myself.

The famous Gazal of Jagit Singh comes to my mind, please return me back my those old days of childhood, rainy water, paper boats, friends, chocolates, and my life.

We all say kids are cute and loving, do we observe and note that they are cute and loving because they are innocent. But we can’t say this for adults. As we grow up our hearts fills with cheating and we become cunning, we become self centered and think of how to get our goal to earn more money, fame and name. If you are donating 1 Rupee to a beggar you will make sure others take note of it. If you are going to donate some thing in hospitals or orphanage, we make sure we let others know about our deeds. Many people make sure that their pics come in news paper. Today internet is best way to get globally recognized and so such people make sure that they get recognized globally and even bring foreign funds by showing their deeds.

Should we do such things earn name, fame and money? At the end of our life will we be taking our name, fame or money with us? Will we need name, fame and money where we will go after death? We run like mad behind all these things but what we get, after we achieve a target of some X amount of salary we look for more salary, once we have more salary we look for name, we want people to move around us, once few people will start moving around us we will need more and more people to know us and run behind us. But in this race, every where our soul is not happy may be our heart would be happy.

I listened to my soul and cut all the clutches of name, fame and money. I make sure I enjoy the time with birds singing around me, flowers blooming around me, cool breeze of the morning, fleet of birds, without noticing others, i jump into puddles and enjoy rain, without taking care of being noticed I donate, I save lives of birds, animals and pamper trees.

I don’t care if people think me mad, I still at this age hold puppies in arms and play with them. I don’t think whether it is good or bad to hold kittens or play with cats, I simply spend time whenever I get chance to be with kittens.

I don’t care if people say I am crazy I stop by to take pictures of clouds, flowers, birds, sun, moon and stars. And when I do this, I really feel I am happy, alive and near to God.