Is it Sin

Some days back a good friend of mine referred me a novel, “The Thorn Birds”. I was given an overview of the story and asked to read it. Many of us would know about it. If not, I am just posting a brief of this novel here.

It is a story of an ambitious priest who falls in love with a beautiful lady much younger than him and who grew up in his care. Priest Ralph was handsome, dashing person. Any woman who saw him use to fall in love with him. He was a perfect man for them. But he was ambitious and wanted to be priest. It is order of God that if you serve him and love him you can’t love any other woman. You can’t think of woman. He use to follow this strictly. His vow was not broken by the desire of beautiful women who were behind him. He once meet a family in which there was a little girl Meggie. Ralph was a young man and Meggie a little child when they first met each other and felt feeling for each other. Their affection was clearly seen in their eyes. Meggie lots her dear ones in the course of time but Ralph continued to support her. Meggie grew up as a beautiful lady and their affection grew up as love. Ralph unknowingly being attached with this love. Meggie requests him to marry but Ralph determined to be Priest went away from him. Meggie got married but she was not happy. Ralph decides to meet Meggie and asks her to forgive her. They lived together as husband and wife for few days and Ralph left for church. Meggie gave birth to Ralph’s child but never informed him about this. After a long time when Ralph was very old and hold a highest post in Church they meet each other in a grave yard. Where Ralph recalls about Meggie’s love, she had been in intense pain all the time she met Ralph but in that pain she was able to give true love with affection. He had pain in his heart that he spent his whole life serving God and following vows but he ruined all that service and love by sharing that love with a lady. He dies with this pain in heart.

The question is, was that a sin? According to me it was not a sin. Meggie’s feelings were innocent, her love was pure. Even Ralph had accepted that he was ambitious to ignore her love which she use to give when she was in pain. She faced world and gave birth of Ralph’s child, if she would have told this to world Ralph would not be able to achieve his ambition. Meggie had asked Ralph to marry her because she wanted a family, husband and kids, like other women. Ralph had the same feeling for her. He came back to her to express that feeling and love but his ambition ruled over him and he left her with heavy heart. Leaving her was sin but loving her was not sin. I believe no religious book says that you ignore true love and feeling and stick to your goal and ambition.

Advertisements

Love Me

🙂 What an irony I am back on this to write about love again.

Again today a friend and well wisher have prayed in temple for me. Instead of asking for good health, wealth or brain, she has asked God to make be believe in love. With this prayer there are many hands and heart that have till now prayed for me and in their prayer they have asked God to bless me with “love” and make me believe in love. I sincerely thank all those hearts and hands who raised for prayer. I sincerely pray God to bless you all with happiness, peace and prosperity.

I am not writing this post to thank you all or pray for you all. But want to ask you all a question. What is LOVE?

One gentleman gave me a movie called “hal-e-dil” nice movie. One lady gave me an example of a person who has expressed his love. Another lady told her love story and one lady told how she would like to fall in love all over again and how she lost her love, all this continued….. So I decided to watch movies. I saw few movies where they show love. I listened all those who say they love someone or in love.

One thing was common, either of them was good looking, cute and smart or both were smart, either of them was poor or both were poor or rich. They met each other, fought over various issues, then realized that they want to live with each other and they thought they are in love and then they either married or had physical relationship. Spent time and then separated or in some cases lived with each other as they had no choice.

The common part was to get into physical relationship, which they termed as love. What is love? Is it getting in to physical relationship or marrying a person who is rich or who is smart or good looking?

It was very strange to know that they believed that physical relationship is the most important part of their life(love life). “Physical Relationship” for a common man is a game of maximum 5 minutes but is a yoga. How can this a game of 5 minutes be love, which is deep like ocean, wast like sky and purest of all pure things? I feel like it is a sickness to term kissing or getting involved in game of 5 minute as love. To such people I want to ask a question, prostitutes play this 5 minute game, can you say that they sell love? Let me put in better words, can you say that they reduce your burden of pockets by giving you love?

If this is love then I am really thankful to God that he has not given me anyone whom i love. Thank you God for you have not given me faith in such love.

Love brings two soul together, love teaches you to be cool, calm, patience, fight. When you love someone you would like to walk in moon light, rain, sun, hold hands of other to enjoy morning star, evening sky, sunset and every element of nature. You get someone with whom you share your smile, tears and ups-downs of life. In summary love is uniting together to share strengths and face the challenges of life. But when physical relationship is in the center of love or when physical relationship wears face of love, I believe it is not love but an ugly hunger for body.

I referred physical relationship as yoga above. Yes, it is a yoga. No one would have observed this. In yoga, person will be taught to control his breath (vyau) in their body. The two people involved in physical relationship unconsciously enters into yoga. They unknowingly start controlling their breath, centralize their energies in one center. As they are not Excellent Practitioner of Yoga they are not able to keep that energy centralized at one point for long time. I am sure all of them would never observed that for one second they feel so relaxed, peaceful and calm that all their issues in their brain and heart would come to an end. And for sure they would not have noticed that their body gets filled with fresh energy.  After coming out of this yoga they feel very good or relaxed and most time they feel sleepy. The reason is all their senses have released tensions or exertions it was into. Everything within them have become peaceful and their unconscious mind takes them to a new world where they can find eternal peace. But their conscious mind is not able to walk with that unconscious mind.

To me both Love and Physical Relationship is like worshiping God. And when sick people make Physical Relationship as the center of love then I feel pity on them. To them I want to ask one more question, What do you find to good in this bag of skin filled with bones and muscles which will loose its beauty and strength one day. What do you find to attractive in this bag which will leave you. And most important which is not yours? 🙂

Yes, if i take base of the theory of re-incarnation then this bag of skin filled with bones and muscles is just a vessel which is being used by thoughts to accomplish their tasks.

To those for whom physical pleasure is love, I can just pray for you, you are running behind “kasturi” which you could have got if you would have understood that playing with body is not love.

I am lost

Yes, I am lost. Sounds funny!! but its a fact, not only me all of are lost, lost in the race of fame, name, money. Hardly we know ourselves or we understand ourselves or love ourselves. We all are beggars, we don’t love ourselves and in search of love run behind others to give us love, we don’t value our money and run behind money comparing our pockets with others’ pockets.

When I seat and look back I see myself the most happiest person in the world. How happy I was collecting tadpoles, butterflies, flowers and make paper boats in rain, how happy I was racing with passing by scooter, on my little bicycle. How happy I was eating chocolates, swinging and playing in mud. How happy I was running behind rabbits and puppies. How happy I was climbing mango trees, collecting raw mangoes and eating them. How happy I was breaking rules and going far from home alone on bicycle. I was enjoying life at fullest. I had no worries, no tensions, I use to sing merrily and dance freely.

But those eyes which were not happy to see this happiness told that I grew up. I need to behave maturely. There were lots of restrictions and orders which I was made to follow. I was given targets and goals, which I had to achieve at any cost. And then life took an unexpected twist, I was asked to marry. I was asked to focus on one person, listen to one person, centralize on one person and devote my life to that person.  In all this I lost myself.

The famous Gazal of Jagit Singh comes to my mind, please return me back my those old days of childhood, rainy water, paper boats, friends, chocolates, and my life.

We all say kids are cute and loving, do we observe and note that they are cute and loving because they are innocent. But we can’t say this for adults. As we grow up our hearts fills with cheating and we become cunning, we become self centered and think of how to get our goal to earn more money, fame and name. If you are donating 1 Rupee to a beggar you will make sure others take note of it. If you are going to donate some thing in hospitals or orphanage, we make sure we let others know about our deeds. Many people make sure that their pics come in news paper. Today internet is best way to get globally recognized and so such people make sure that they get recognized globally and even bring foreign funds by showing their deeds.

Should we do such things earn name, fame and money? At the end of our life will we be taking our name, fame or money with us? Will we need name, fame and money where we will go after death? We run like mad behind all these things but what we get, after we achieve a target of some X amount of salary we look for more salary, once we have more salary we look for name, we want people to move around us, once few people will start moving around us we will need more and more people to know us and run behind us. But in this race, every where our soul is not happy may be our heart would be happy.

I listened to my soul and cut all the clutches of name, fame and money. I make sure I enjoy the time with birds singing around me, flowers blooming around me, cool breeze of the morning, fleet of birds, without noticing others, i jump into puddles and enjoy rain, without taking care of being noticed I donate, I save lives of birds, animals and pamper trees.

I don’t care if people think me mad, I still at this age hold puppies in arms and play with them. I don’t think whether it is good or bad to hold kittens or play with cats, I simply spend time whenever I get chance to be with kittens.

I don’t care if people say I am crazy I stop by to take pictures of clouds, flowers, birds, sun, moon and stars. And when I do this, I really feel I am happy, alive and near to God.

I Love You

I remember one of my incident of childhood, it was when I changed my home like school and joined a new school. I had no friends for all most a year. What more you can expect from an introvert person? Some how people started making me friends. That is all a different story. Now I was not alone at lunch break. I use to share my lunch with others. I remember there was a student, from Zambia, who use to study in our class. Completely extrovert person. He was like a wind, who touches each and every leaves, buds and make them flowers. Full of life. He use to tease me and instead of smile I use to give him angry expression. I use to watch him closely, how he use to make smile people when they are crying and try to learn that. His one of the habit was to shake hand with anyone he use to meet. Same he use to do with me, but I never shake hand with him. One day he told, “oh come on! you can shake hand with me I have washed my hands and even applied perfume” but I didn’t shake hand with him. That day, girls with whom I use to share my lunch were talking about love. I listened them for a while then I made busy in my work. Suddenly a question came, “what do you think about love?”. I said “there is nothing like love, no one loves any one in this world, its affection and nothing else”. While I was giving these views that boy came in and offered a shake hand. I refused and he said, “this is not done. you don’t know what is love, you don’t have heart.” And went out with a sad face. Though he can never be sad. Soon girls seating there told me, “remember one day you will fall in love, in a mad love.” I laughed them and challenged them that there is no one whom I will love.

After years, long years, today, we were discussing about a song being played on radio. As usual my reaction was, “its love song, boring song, love stories are boring. There is nothing like love and no one loves in this world anyone. Its just affection and infatuation.” Suddenly my friend stopped me here and told me, “mark my words, you will fall in love, some will be there who will love you like mad and whom you will love like mad. you will feel the pain of love and tell me that you are in love.”

I laughed… literally laughed…. and still laughing….. Me and love…. 🙂

sorry but i don’t believe in such love. To me love should bring happiness and pleasure. How can it bring pain. I don’t believe in such things and its just bookish.

To her I would say…..

aisi to koi suraat nahi (there is no such face)

jise muraat banaa ke hum pooje (which I can worship as God)

aisi to koi ankhe nahi (there is no such eyes)

jis me hum doob jaaye (in which I can lose myself)

aisi to baahe nahi (there is no such arms)

jis me hum toot jaaye (in which I can rest)

aisa koi bnaa hi nahi (God has not made anyone)

jis se hum keh sake “I love you” (whom I can say these three words)

Finally we ended up with her words, “you keep this in your note, you will for sure fall in love with a person who will accept you as you are and you will be happy.”

I remember my husbands words, “you really don’t know what is love, you are a saint, I have not seen a girl like you.” Poor man, I think he tried to make me realize what is love but was in vain. To me all this, funny things, like writing names here and there, reading mails, giving gifts and hugs and lots more is just a stupid act. By writing name anywhere you are just making that beautiful place ugly. And by telling anyone that you love him or her doesn’t mean that you love him or her.

I have seen people who fall in love and spend years before they marry. After marriage, “aha!! I am tired of my wife. She is so demanding, always asks me to take out, take things for me.” “umhm!! my husband he was good as lover, use to take me out, give me gifts, praise me whenever I use to wear new dress. But today he just keeps himself busy with work”.

I remember there was a friend of mine in Master of Computer Application, who married when she was going to give her final year Bachalor of Computer Application exam. Her was a love marriage. With lots of controversies she married. One day her husband desired to buy a weapon for his protection. He was a writer. He would have got some sort of notes from some parties about his article which was forcing him to buy weapon. While talking to her, she told me “how can I let him buy weapon, if some day he will get angry he will kill me.” I don’t understand, when you love someone and when you are married to that special person, how can you think he can kill you. This is not love. If this is love, I strongly oppose it, I don’t believe in love.

Anyone who believe in this kind of love is free to discuss this here……