“Karyeshu Yogi, Karaneshu Daksha, Rupecha Krishna, Kshamayathu Rama, Bojyeshu Truptha, Sukhadukkha Mitra, Shatkarmayuktha, Khalu Darmanatha”
In past I have mentioned about duties of wife. Today I want to speak about duties of husband here and make the post complete.
First let me put down word to word meaning: “A husband is who works like Yogi (detached from happiness, sadness, pride…), he who advises like king Daksha (daksha means brilliant), he who always have smile on his face like Krishna, he who have patience like Rama, he who appreciates whatever is being cooked by wife (or in family), he who is like a friend who is always there in happiness and bad times”
Many say that such vows of a wife and husband are meaningless in this century. But it is possible to have all these vows obeyed by a man and woman in this century if relation is handled with open hands.
In today’s world both wife and husband work in their respective fields. It may happen both enjoy top position in their field or one may be superior than other. In either case ego should not come between them. A husband should not think he is male and so he is superior. Male and female both are creation of God. With male and female comes a family into existence. So both are equally important in a family. Not only in professional life a man should be like a Yogi, but in house also he should be like a Yogi. Meaning, if wife is not feeling well it is not bad to work on behalf of her in kitchen. If some guests are coming up then it is not bad to help wife manage things. So it is not shameful to share responsibilities inside and outside home.
A Yogi is who is stable in all situations. He is not having ego. He listens others before performing any action. He is humble, stable in happiness and sadness. He is contemplate and devoted to his activity. More about yogi in another post…
A husband is head of family. And a head can ofcourse lead, guide family. But this leadership should not be blind. A leader should have vision of future before making any suggestions or decisions. A wife will shape family under leadership of husband. So always husband should make sure to advise wisely.
We have seen Krishna always smiling. So a husband should have smile on his face in all situations. I know one will say, how one can smile in bad times but (based on my experience) one can smile in bad times with right attitude. Here the matter is to show correct attitude in tough times. Here the matter is to support, encourage family and family members in difficult times.
Patience is key factor of a relationship. Being head of family, husband should deal with all and every situations with patience. In bad times it is good to step back or seat for a while and let the time time pass away instead of working against bad times. At times wife or some other family member act insanely, in such cases, be patient and try to calm up situation, handle family members. You cannot change situations, people and their thoughts but you can manage everything with patience. Sometimes it is good to step back instead of doing arguments, fighting back and making things worst.
Any relationship in the beginning will always be hard to build. If the relation is just started or if the relation was 10 years old it will be hard to manage under different times. It is insane but it is true, “a new shoe and a new relationship will always hurt in the beginning”. Patience is key to learn how to adjust and make this relationship work.
A husband should appreciate whatever is being cooked by wife. Instead of comparing food cooked by mother, other family member, friends or restaurant, as a husband try to appreciate food prepared by wife. If she is not able to cook good food then too she would have cooked food for you with love. So it is not appreciation of taste of food but the love behind the food being cooked by wife.
A husband and a wife should be friend, best friend. Trust your wife. Lend your ears to her feelings and words. Dont leave her alone in tough times, if you cannot openly then too try to support her from behind screen. As a friend guide her in her wrong decisions. As a friend be always there around her. Share your heart and feelings with her openly.
At last, if you think your wife is a matter of pride for you, you are not a husband. If you cannot share minor details with your wife then your are not a husband. If you cannot share your feelings with your wife then you are not in a relationship. If you just want to control your wife, order her and make obedient slave then your are not husband. If you just want to use her physically then your are not husband.